> Oh, but it would have at one point.  Just ask someone who lived through
> the Great Depression.  "Or, don't even bother asking.  Just stand next
> to them for more than two minutes, and they'll tell you about it. 'It
> was hard, during the Great Depression,' they'll say. 'We had nothing to
> eat except floor sweepings and we walked eighteen miles to school.  Even
> if the school was only two miles away, we'd have to walk back and forth
> nine times, because times were bad, and you had no choice, so you worked
> hard for every nickel, which in those days would buy you two tickets to
> a movie plus four boxes of popcorn plus a used Buick sedan, but of
> course we couldn't afford it because Dad only made two dollars and
> fifty-seven cents per year and our shoes were made out of grapefruit
> rinds, but we never complained, no, we were happy, because we had
> *values* in those days, and if you had values you didn't need a lot of
> money or food or toilet paper, which was a luxury in those days to the
> point where we'd get through a whole year - this was a family of eleven
> - on just *six squares* of toilet paper, because we had this system
> where if you had to...HEY! Come back here!'"

/include_montypythonsketch.h
"Luxury. Why, every morning, our father would get us up at 3 am, 2 
hours -before- we went to bed, out of our home in an empty shoebox, 
at the bottom of the lake, force us to eat broken glass and nails, 
make us clean the entire nearby road, with our tounges, make us walk 
the 72 miles to our jobs as slaves, in Ussex, barefoot, for tuppence 
an hour, then we'd come home and our mother and father would beat us 
untill we were dead, and dance around on our graves singing 
'haleluyuh'."
"Yeah, and I'll tell you another thing... you try to tell that to 
young people theise days, and they -don't believe you-"


> Colin, who used to be Gnollman (since we're dredging up old names):
I prefer Colin. Colin and me get along just fine, most of the time.
Gnollman, on the other hand, well.... Newcomer and Gnollman were at
each others throats for simple things, like Newcomer referring to
himself in third person..... 


a few notes on how to be a bastard:
Never correct someone on their spelling or incorrect use of a word.
Instead, find an excuse to use the word correctly at the first
possible opportunity.

Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice)

At lunch time, sit in  your parked car and point a hair dryer
at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
--------------------------------------------------------
Newcomer

(WOOOOOHOOOOO URUDO!)