Most of the cartoon characters, espically Ranma, have a baby-like
facial proportion (ie. big head, big eyes).  This was evident in Walt
Disney's early cartoons.  Biologically, the use of these propotions was
to induce a maternal feeling to make sure that the baby gets protection
and care.  The charateristic that generates this feeling could be called
"cute" or "kawaii".  Even for a child, we can see that they express this
maternal feeling when they hug a teddy bear.

    My guess of why women desired to be "kawaii" is that in the
traditional society, women tended to be economically depended on men.  
Therefore, the trait of "kawaii" was desirable among women to allow the
men to care for them (talk about a major ego-trip).  As for your friend
who works in the labortory, she is probably economically independent
(due to the quality of her job).  And to label her as "kawaii" or
dependent is an insult on her abilities.

    Back to Ranma, we see Akane, who according to the Ranmaverse
standards, is physically and, sometimes, emotionally dependent on Ranma,
yet she claims to be independent.  Since most of the readers tend to
identify themselves with the main charater, in this case, Ranma, they
probably would have more of a "macho" feelings toward Akane.  A perfect
example of this case is when Ranma lost his strength.  The roles are now
reversed (isn't RT a genius?).  Instead of Akane depending on Ranma, we
see Akane helping Ranma.  Ranma, because he lost his "machoness" could
not face anyone, espically Akane, and tried to run away.  Also we knew
Akane really loved Ranma and did not want Ranma just because of his
abilities.

    That's my two cents and please feel free to disagree.  I hope I
didn't offend anyone about the dependence stuff.